Sunday, September 14, 2014

The Improbability of Reality:

When I was younger I used to be the sort of person who got really upset whenever my friends would hang out together without me. I often felt left out and insecure, etc.

I suppose I felt that for some reason I had been purposefully left out, yet I've noticed something in life and that is that, people just aren't thinking about you that much.

At first that might seem daunting, it might feel like nobody cares about you that much. But the truth is, people just have lives. A lot of the time we've all got so many colour-change juggling balls in the air we can't concentrate on anything outside of our immediate line of vision. If your friends have forgotten about you, not included you or forgotten a rather minor (in the grand scheme of things) promise they might have made to you it's likely it was simply because they had other stuff going on.

It's always important to practise complexly imagining other people. We can so often reduce them to the two dimensional beings we know - the part of themselves they show to us. However, even our closest friends and family have private lives and thoughts, and other things that take up far more of their energy than we realise.

Rather than reducing your thoughts to their most destructive, 'oh poor me! Everyone forgot me!' possibilities, train yourself to remember to complexly imagine others and their lives. You may not have been a point of reference in the plans of another person and that's completely fine. How often are other's a point of reference in your plans? Don't you usually think to do something quite spontaneously, are you always 100% inclusive of every person you know?

It's not always 'about' you. Think about how rarely particular people cross your mind. It's pretty rare, right? I mean, you've probably got a job, hobbies, school and a million other people to keep track of in your life. Hell, with things like climate change, politics and outbreaks of horrible diseases I'm surprised ANYONE has the time to keep up with their friends, that's some real dedication, yo. 

I think anxieties and insecurities, anything that immediately gets your adrenaline pumping in a not-so fun way, generally has a likelihood of originating from a rooting idea - one that probably has more to do with ourselves and thinking patterns than the realities of anything anyone else is saying. One we believe, but not one that is necessarily true.

"Reality is not always probable. Or likely." Jorge Luis Borges

Think about your thoughts, where are they coming from, what is their source? What is the root of your mood, your current situation, that could be spurring these thoughts on? What are you really anxious about?

I think times of anxiety and cyclical thoughts are good times to meditate on your thoughts, undo them and clear them out. Think of it like cleaning your wardrobe, sort out your mental state and decide which thoughts you want to keep. I like to undo the unlikely probabilities by reasoning myself out of an anxious state, knowing what's real and what's not, and taking time to spend with myself and remember that yeah man, I'm pretty cool. Even I like hanging out with me.

'Relax, nobody else knows what they're doing either' - Ricky Gervais

To help you on your meditating-on-thoughts journey, I'm going to leave you with these nice calming images of magnolias (my current favourite flowers!) and dream catchers. Scroll up the page, breathe, look, relax and think carefully about where your insecurities and anxieties are coming from, and exactly how likely that particular reality is to occur.