When I was about seven or eight my parents bought our family computer. Compared to nowadays it was a slow, chunky and clunky thing. There wasn't much in the way of super-fancy editing programs and we even had dial-up internet. Yet I could still spend hours on that thing. I'd get home from school, open up a word document or paint program and get started.
I wasn't wasting time. Not in my view. I wasn't spending hour after hour scrolling through pinterest or Tumblr - they hadn't even been invented yet! No, what I was doing was creating things very much like this blog.
I've always loved to create little magazine-typed things. I would copy the design layouts of the magazines I saw in stores, try to think up witty titles for inspirational articles I would one-day write, and try my best to edit fonts and pictures the way I saw in magazines for visual interest.
I've always had quite a fondness for combining my interests in writing and design. Making little magazines, or designing the cover art for my future novels in my head has always been my outlet for that particular part of my creative side. When I was still around the same age I designed and printed my own copy of the Daily Prophet, complete with little articles, and sent it off (in a big yellow envelope) to J.K Rowling's fan mail address. When I got my form reply back in the mail I was over the moon. It was just as good as getting that Hogwarts acceptance letter I'm still waiting for...Actually, it was better, in a way it was a symbol to me that being brave enough to put something creative out into the world means someone will witness it - and to me, just having people see my work is often reward enough for all those hours spend writing, editing, taking photographs and filming videos.
When I was in high-school I was given the opportunity to work for my school yearbook/magazine. I didn't stay on the team for long because of my severe social anxiety, but I did get to learn a few things about choosing photos and layouts. It also gave me a little confidence boost because all the people I worked with tended to compliment my designs.
Later on as I grew up (think fifteen, sixteen - oh so grown up! Not) and the internet began to take over I tried several times to start blogs. In all honesty, I think this might be my eighth attempt at keeping a consistent blog. I've been on Wordpress, Tumblr, and now am here at Blogspot. I even used to use Piczo. Does anyone else remember Piczo?
I've always gotten something nice out of blogging, design and general writing. I've always managed to get kind feedback. People have told me my websites were 'good' or my writing was funny or intriguing. Even hearing them say they loved checking my updates on Myspace made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and soothed that constantly worried beast that lives inside my chest and is always terrified I'll mess up or fail miserably. That feedback has always kind of been just like food. A healthy diet of egotistical boosts that have allowed me to become narcissistic enough to think my writing might attract a few readers or some other kind of interest (lol). It's those people from my past and present who, without even thinking or meaning to, managed to build me up incredibly successfully and who have allowed me to take what I see as a risk and put myself 'out there'.
On the flipside, the ones who say (or try to say, anyway) negative things have managed to do the opposite of their aims. They've reinforced the above idea, that my work might possibly generate some interest, a conversation, ignite a spark somewhere. It's those people who I think of when I'm writing this blog. It's a little passive-aggressive, but I like it. I want everyone to be able to enjoy my writing, just like I want to be able to enjoy and successfully learn the lessons other people have to teach me. So I write with the minds that I want to change in ...er, mind.
In short, I'm proud of my little blog. This hasn't simply been the six-month journey you can see if you look through my posts. This has been years and years of training myself to be a disciplined writer; of learning more and seeing more in the world; of playing around with cameras and editing programs both bad and good. But, I think I've found my 'voice' here and I'm excited to keep on keepin' on.